Susie at the water cooler at the baseball field (Dad coached Little League)

Susie attended college in Ohio at the same time I danced with the Ohio Ballet. Neither of us intended to land in Ohio together; it just happened. I’d often take a bus from Akron to Columbus to experience Susie’s college life and Susie would bus over to Akron for my rehearsals and performances. She endeared herself to everyone in the ballet company and was automatically allowed backstage whenever she showed up. All of Susie’s college friends and teachers knew me too. 

This geographic proximity to Susie ended up being a life saver. After two years of bliss with the Ohio Ballet, I crashed. The injuries themselves were not life-threatening, but the mental anguish that attended them threw me for a loop. I considered not living anymore. Not that I’d ever actually kill myself, but when I wasn’t dancing, I had no identity, no way of expressing myself, no positive feedback loop. When I wasn’t dancing professionally, I felt invisible and irrelevant. Susie was always there for me and I could tell her anything. The other day, she quoted something I said back then about the Black Death. Apparently, I said, “People would go to bed and wake up dead! Why would anyone want to cure such a wonderful disease?!?”

After injuries forced me to leave the Ohio Ballet, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was lost and angry and confused and drowning in self-pity. At this point, Susie took over. She had recently gotten engaged to a German man and was on her way to Germany to start their life together. Susie decided I should come to Europe too and look for a dancing job over there. Okay, Susie. I booked a flight to England.

Susie arranged accommodations for me in London. My host would be the ex-boyfriend of Susie’s employer. Alan, the ex, showed up at Heathrow to pick me up and host me for a few days, but as soon as I landed, I was arrested and placed in a holding cell.

Absolutely clueless about the ways of the world, I proudly told the passport official that my purpose for coming to England was to look for work. I thought that was an admirable reason to enter his country, but he didn’t think so. For the next several hours, I was treated as a threat to national security and interrogated several times throughout my detention. Under no circumstances would I be allowed to set foot in England. I must fly to another country, but where? Again, Susie to the rescue.

In tears, I called Susie from the payphone in our holding cell. (There was a handful of us dubious characters in here and all of us needed to use the phone.) I told Susie what happened and she instantly devised Plan B. I still don’t know how she did it — no cell phones, no internet, no  Airbnb — but the next thing I know, I’m flying to Holland to stay with “Mama,” the mother of Susie’s Dutch friend, Mies. “Mama” opened her home to me, a total stranger, solely because of Susie’s friendship with Mies.

I filled an entire journal with a play-by-play account of my expulsion from England. Reading this now, I want to kick my sorry ass around the block! What an insufferable whiner I was! I was convinced I was cursed and that the deck was stacked against me. Now all I see is Susie working her magic and, with the help of her friends, pulling me through one fiasco after another.

Later, I learned that Mom wrote a letter to Margaret Thatcher vouching for my character and asking that I be allowed into the country. A few days later, she received a response from 10 Downing Street:

Soon after I landed in Holland, Susie joined me at Mama’s house and the two of us started backpacking through Europe for my auditions. By then, I was so down in the dumps it’s a wonder I kept trying.

Eventually, I took my sad-sack to Tübingen, Germany, where I lived with Susie and her fiancé for an indeterminate length of time. The days turned into weeks and then into months. I’m sure it was not easy for Michael to have me sleeping on a mattress only a few feet from them but he welcomed me graciously.

While in Tübingen, I did whatever I could to stay in shape for my auditions. The ballet classes in town weren’t rigorous enough for me so I spent 16 Deutsche Marks every day on a roundtrip ticket to Stuttgart. That’s where I met Patsy.